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HOME HOW CAN YOU HELP? Join us in Washington for the 7 Woman March! Tell a friend about this site! Read the Bible! Join our mailing list! Buy some swag! Prequalify NOW to Be Martha's Prison Pen Pal! Even Martha would say that we should all be prepared for the worst-case scenario, so don't wait until our heroine is shackled and bound -- get in on the ground floor! Post your prison letter to Martha here. If she ends up staying in the Graybar Hotel, she'll then select her favorites to be her official prison pen pals. The best entry from each day will be posted here for Martha and others to see. So far... June 11, 2003 11:46 am EST Dear Martha, Guess what? You and I went to high school together! You probably don't remember me, what with stealing all the boys I liked and laughing at me, and calling me plain and stupid. But, I remember you! My girlfriends spent hours and hours cursing you and the hallowed ground you seemed to float on. Back then, it seemed like you bled peach nectar during your periods and farted Febreze. Well, gotta go now. I have to pick up my terrific kid and after I tuck him in get fucked hard by my husband. That's pretty much the plan for the next 50 years of my wonderful, wonderful freedom. Best to you, bitch! Polly Bleater Nutley, NJ June 10, 2003 1:34 pm EST Dear Martha, God Dammmit, you are purty. I'm not talking lipstick-on-a-pig purty either, I'm talking about bigtime bone-rattling purty. Write back! Lester Lesterman Limestone, AK June 9, 2003 8:04 am EST Dear Martha, I'm one of the people who bought the ImClone stock that you dumped just before it tanked after news of the FDA denial went public. I lost my daughter's college tuition fund in that stock deal, and as a result, my wife left me and my daughter won't speak to me. I've been getting help for my depression, and might be able to go back to work at the plant store soon, if my boss is willing to take me back. Anyway, the downtown motel I've been living in is okay enough I guess, but I'm hoping I can do something about that smell. Any tips on getting formaldehyde out of stained bed linens? Thanks in advance! Walter Bailey Baltimore, MD Our Manifesto Arm yourself with knowledge! Martha Stewart Fact Sheet Biographical Timeline Legal Analysis by Johnnie Cochran Suggested Defense Strategies Latest News Investment Offer From Martha! Comments From Other Celebrities A Horrible Future! Other Marthas Who Have Been in Trouble Martha's Prison Pen Pals Martha Dot Fun! Martha's To-Do List Martha Haikus Related Websites Sign or View Our Guestbook!

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