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HOME HOW CAN YOU HELP? Join us in Washington for the 7 Woman March! Tell a friend about this site! Read the Bible! Join our mailing list! Buy some swag! Statue of Martha Destroyed in New York City Support for Martha Pouring in From Murphy, NC Murphy, NC - Signboards, hand-written messages, and ribbons-galore are adorning Murphy, NC, the home of Olympic Park bombing suspect Eric Rudolph, in support of Martha Stewart. Betty Johnson, manager of the Crackerhouse Diner, posted a sign urging all residents to "Pray for Martha." Johnson explained, "Bless her heart, Martha needs our help." A fish bowl at the check out counter has already collected $ 62.47 to aid in Stewart's defense. Eighty-two year old Yoke Holler expressed the sentiments of many in this close-knit community, "I didn't see her obstruct nobody. You can't always trust them feds." Authorities believe Stewart may have been getting food and help from Murphy residents. Said Holler, "If she turned up at my door, I'da given her a cup of grits and never said a word." Martha Denies Plans to Flee Country to Avoid Prosecution Jail Mothra, Not Martha! How can this society jail Martha while Mothra is still free? This well-known monster (Mothra) has killed hundreds of innocent, screaming, and Japanese civilians! But this creature escapes blame while Martha is put in prison? The most bitter irony is that Martha's neatness and cleanliness are the very skills that could rid this world of moths of all sizes. She could probably even construct a large, yet decorative, cedar wall to keep Mothra away from our buildings, bridges, and silken garments. The authorities may believe Godzilla will always be here to save us, while they harass our next-best defense -- don't be fooled! A giant lizard (with skin that could use Martha's attention, by the way) is no more dependable than a capable woman who has started her own company and magazine! Write your congressperson and demand Martha's release so she can help us capture the real villain, Mothra! Martha Is Guilty -- of Smelling Great! Is it the lavender or the essence of rose? The troubles of a court of law hardly matter when everyone she passes feels as though they fell into a flowery dream. Never mind exhibit A, just close your eyes and let the aromatherapy make you forget those troubling judge's instructions. Prosecutor's voice grinding into your temple? Focus your senses on that hint of eucalyptus. The SEC testimony could make you tense, but the wafting layer of orange and other citrus lets you focus on your life and the wonders that lie before you. And yes, with a deep breath you can feel it: myrrh -- the odor of innocence. Our Manifesto Arm yourself with knowledge! Martha Stewart Fact Sheet Biographical Timeline Legal Analysis by Johnnie Cochran Suggested Defense Strategies Latest News Investment Offer From Martha! Comments From Other Celebrities A Horrible Future! Other Marthas Who Have Been in Trouble Martha's Prison Pen Pals Martha Dot Fun! Martha's To-Do List Martha Haikus Related Websites Sign or View Our Guestbook!

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